Goal 30 Completed

Goal 30 (get wii fit and use it) was harder to achieve than I had expected. Sure, I knew Nintendo was doing their biggest marketing campaign ever for Wii Fit. I even saw all the TVs in Toys R Us playing the instructional video about it. Yet, I didn't plan ahead. Then I read that the UK was running out of them. Still, I believed I would have no problems. Then the day came that I wanted to buy it and couldn't.

I called stores periodically and checked when I was near a store I figured carried it. It wasn't until a friend/co-worker called me at home on a vacation day that I knew of a place that actually had them. Yes, I saw the work number and actually picked up the phone on a vacation day and it paid off. I hadn't even changed out of my pajamas when news hit and I flew out of the house within 5 minutes of confirming with the store.

In short, I do like it. Tracking your Wii Fit age is a little random, but amusing. It is partially based on your ability to remain still perfectly balanced. Some days are just better than others. The workout has made me sweat at times. The yoga is good and there is one position in particular that seems to hit the tight muscles in my shoulder and back just right. The strength training exercises are also good. I turned to Tim and admitted that I was sore from playing a video game. The aerobics is good for the morning since it isn't super strenuous and the balance games are just fun- especially the skiing. Having some kind of check on whether I am doing things right or not (i.e. center of balance tracking) does have some real appeal. What I also learned is that my bathroom scale is horribly off.

I had my suspicions about this scale in spite of its guarantee of accuracy. For some reason it would get stuck on exactly the same weight for a couple days in a row. Let's create a fictional weight and say it weighed in at 1F5.0. It would stay at that exact weight, including the tenth, for more than one day. Then it would drop, let's say to 1F3.6 and stay there. And then bounce up to 1F8.8. Always the same tenths with the same the weight. No small incremental changes either. That didn't seem likely. Now, in the end, I don't have a guarantee that the Balance Board is any better than the scale, but for the first week I used it, I dropped steadily if not dramatically. I bounced up in the past day or two for weekend eating (a little heavier than my weekday meals had been) and a cyclical weight gain I wouldn't be able to avoid. My weight did change daily, which seems a lot more plausible than the scale.

Unfortunately, I need to take a break from my training and send the wii away for repairs. It's been making some noises from the drive and before it goes totally kaplooey, it should get fixed. That means I won't be able to confirm how close I got to my first 2 week goal, but I look forward to picking it up again once the wii is returned. I've heard that weighing in daily is a bad idea since the body can fluctuate so much in day- but I found it to be a good reminder in the morning to watch what I eat and what I do. 

I'm marking this goal off a little prematurely since I didn't reach the end of my first 2 weeks to see how well it went in total, but I am encouraged enough to know that I will definitely keep using it once the wii is safely back in my possession. This will hopefully get me closer to completing my goal of losing at least 20 pounds that also stands uncompleted so far.

Martina's May/June Round Up

Items in progress: 1, 2, 4, 7, 9, 11, 18, 24, 26

Items Completed: 6, 15, 32, 33, 34, 66, 71, 75, 86, 90, 101

1-Pay off my car: Still in progress, a little over a year to go

2-Pay off the rest of my credit card debt: In progress. Just paid off my last department store card and Dell is within a couple hundred bucks, which is good, because I suspect the purchase of a new laptop may be in my future. I just want to hold out for a few more months.

3-Create a budget: Still too free spirited for a complete budget. I have a sort of vague sense in my head and have taken to withdrawing cash for spending money instead of using my debit card willy nilly, so I guess that is some progress.

4-Lose weight: I know I said I was going to leave this goal vague on purpose, but I'm thinking it needs more specificity - like "lose 20 pounds by Labor Day". Anyway, I lost eight pounds during the month of April, then gained a couple back during my vacation. I am back down to my eight pound loss and looking forward to the reward I will buy myself once I break 10 pounds. (I'm thinking the last of the Buffy DVD's or a facial, but I'm not sure yet.)

5-Join a gym & set up an exercise program: I still have not joined a gym, but have started a walking program. I walked a lot during my vacation and continued the momentum by going every day last week. I even went swimming, which I haven't done in ages. I had forgotten just how much I enjoy swimming. I'm thinking it might make a good addition to my plan, if I can get over my anxieties about being seen in public wearing a bathing suit.

6-Collaborate with someone on a creative project: DONE, though this still feels like an ongoing goal for me.

7-Exercise at least 3x a week: This goal seems like it's just a more specific repeat of #5. I am seriously thinking of modifying my list and merging the two together to make room for a separate goal.

8-Make an appointment with a personal trainer: Again, this kind of goes with the gym idea. I may modify it.

9-Make a quilt: I have pieces all cut out (not a great accomplishment - they've been cut out for over a year!), but have yet to sew anything together.

10-Complete January blogstravaganza. I did try posting once a day for the month of January, howevever it did not quite pan out. I did, however, write just about every day, so from that standpoint it was a success. I'm thinking I may repurpose this to a post a day on my other blog during the month of July.

11-Write 12 short stories, essays or poems in the next year (I.e. 1/month): I think the way to approach this is to list (or link to) the pieces I've written. I write something most days, so I'm not sure how to distinguish other than to say that it must be a purposeful, finished piece. So, here is what I have thusefar: 1. I did write a piece I rather like about family back in January; 2. I wrote a poem based on a writing prompt from my friend Wendy

12-Finish the first draft of my mystery novel: No real progress

13-Learn another language: I made some baby steps toward learning Spanish on a recent trip. The friends I went with are Mexican and we made a rule that I had to learn something new in Spanish every day we were gone. I should really ask them to continue that with me until I can sign up for a class.

14-Take a class

15-Join/start a writing group or take a writing class: Done, but ongoing, so I hesitate to mark it off the list. Technically, I did do what I set out to, though. I started working my way through The Artist's Way and have been posting the exercises that don't get too personal here. My writing duo and I exchanged pieces about a month ago, then petered out. We need to repurpose what we're doing. Something about it wasn't working. I think I need more structure. I have also been working through some writing prompts from Wendy on her livejournal community - Spirit Writes. It has been a lot of fun, because it has prompted me to write about some topics I normally wouldn't choose on my own.

16-Make something with my own hands once a month (craft project):Jan - ?, Feb - ?, March - ?, April - collage, May: ?, June:

17-Join a choir or that music thingy from the "Keep PDX Weird" event: I have not done this, but I have found a friend who wants to join me in playing some violin duets/possibly get together a group to play chamber music.

18-Learn 12 new songs on my violin in the next year (I.e. 1/month): In preparation for duet playing, I have begun to practice regularly again. Right now I am working on a Seitz Violin Conerto.

19-Get my bow rehaired: Still need to do this. I keep putting it off, because I don't want to spend the money, but I really need to do so before my duet partner returns from vacation in August.

20-Clean out/organize my books: I swear they multiply during the night. I did manage to give a way a few really beat up Ursula LeGuins, but I still need to take the box I compiled last month to Goodwill. I was going to give it another look over, but I think I should probably just take it and get it over with.

21-Make curtains for my bedroom

22-Go for a walk in a new park/trail at least once a month. April - went for a walk in Wilsonville where I work. May - Nowhere new. June - Went for a walk at a botanical garden at the beach

23-Learn about wine

24-Try a new recipe once a month: Jan 08: Thai Pizza; Feb 08: West African Ground Nut Stew; Carribbean Black Beans with Orange Juice and Candied Ginger; March 08: Ziti with Sundried Tomato Cream, Plaintains with Apples and Sweet Potatoes, Tangy Orange Salad Dressing; April 08: Vegetarian Carne Guisada; May08: Chocolate and Cranberry Cookies (from Apples for Jam- I am sad to report that I really did not like them). Penne with Shrimp, Cream and Tomatoes (also from Apples for Jam and DELICIOUS!)

25 - Invite friends over for dinner once a month: Jan 08: Jenny & Jesus; Feb 08: - ; March 08: Paula (kinda - we ended up eating out); Jen, Becky, Nancy, Jenny, Dejadira; Ruth, Jala, DeEtte; April 08: Jenny, DeJadira, Antonio; May 08: I am sure we had someone over, but for the life of me, I cannot remeber who it was

26-Try a new restaurant once a month: Jan 08: Jim Dandy; Feb 08: Van Hanh; Mexican Restaurant on 122nd...can't remember the name, but it was good; March 08: Mexican Restaurant by work - can't remember the name, but it's by the Thai restaurant (like that tells anyone but me anything!); April 08: - the vegan café next to my mom's chiropractor's office in Milwaukie (I know - again with the great record keeping!) May 08: Sweet Pea Baking Company (vegan and they have the yummiest peanutbutter bars!; June 08: El Tapatio (both the one on 82nd Ave in PDX AND the one in Coquille, OR), The Sea Hag (Depoe Bay, OR); the Doogers in Seaside (I've already eaten at the one in Cannon Beach)

27-Make Stollen

28-Once a month, pick someone and buy them a gift/do something to make them happy for no reason at all: Jan 08 no one; Feb 08 - sent flowers to my mom; March 08 - Cadbury eggs for Mary (b/c they're her favorite and she was having a bad day); April 08 - bought my mom a lily, also have something for Jen that I can not yet reveal, because I have yet to send it; May 08 - Bought my mom a sparkly silver tote, because she liked my gold disco bag; June 08 - While on vacation bought Deja and Antonio various souvenirs and also sprung for the $25 deluxe dune buggy ride instead of the $12 craptacular one

29-Moisturize every day

30-Organize my recipes: No new progress since last month - Vegetarian recipe binder is now organized. Still need to buy some nicer binders and also go through magazines and pull out only the recipes I'm going to try and throw the rest away.

31-Study a new Tarot card each month

32-Go on a real vacation: DONE! Spent 3 days in Eastern Washington in May and went on a week long vacation to the coast last week.

33-Resume Wednesday activity schedule with Jen. Check! (Though I have to admit that we have recently lost some of our momentum with vacations and all.)

34-Spend a month as a vegetarian - Completed Feb08

35-Play my guitar more than once a year

36-Cut my diet coke consumption down to 1 a day (or better - none a day)

37-Sign up for organic grocery delivery or foodshare

38-Study a new artist/composer each month: So far not much progress, though I did forget that I read up a bit on Sofonisba Anguissola a bit back in January.

39-Go to a concert/play once a month: Jan 08: The Devil and Daniel Webster; Feb 08: Sweet Honey in the Rock; March 08: Corteo, Ladysmith Black Mambazo; April 08: Nothing yet. May: None; June 08: Nothing yet

40-Go to the Shakespeare festival in Ashland.

41-Host a summer barbeque. I'm going to a bbq next weekend, but was thinking I might invite some people over the following week

42-Plan a trip to Europe

43-Renew my passport

44-Go through and get rid of CD's that need to be released into the wild

45-Go on another retreat: I've requested time off in September and think I have the hotel narrowed down. It even has a lovely few of the water in case the weather is not so nice and I end up spending more time in my room than I planned. I'm toying with seeing if there is a spa nearby, so I can go have a massage or a facial or something like that.

46-Visit the Oregon Trail museums I haven't yet visited: I really need to find out what these are. So far I have been to the End of the Oregon Trail Museum in Oregon City, Tamastslikt in Pendleton, and the Oregon Trail Museum in Baker City.

47-Read a poem each week: Joined a poem a day listserv, but so far have mostly just done a lot of deleting. I think this may be more of a get a book from the library or at least seek something out kind of thing.

48-Read something in another language each week

49-Visit the East Coast

50-Write a handwritten letter to someone once a month

51-Meet a friend for coffee/drinks/whatever once a month. No real changes. Really, the point of making this a goal was that I found myself feeling kind of hermit-like at the beginning of the year and turning down a lot of invitations I should have accepted. This does not seem to be a problem anymore. I think I smell an empty spot for a new goal.

52-Regularly deposit money into savings. Clearly I have budgeting issues. I've mostly just thought about this.

53-Take control of my 401k investments by taking a class/reading a book on investing: Despite my general (and completely unfair, because I have literally seen her talk for all of 10 minutes) Oprah-like misgivings about her, I have purchased a book on women and money by Suze Orman. It's colorful dust jacket looks really on nice on the shelf, where the book has now sat uncracked for weeks (June update: make that MONTHS).

54-Call or e-mail friends at least once a week. Haven't really been keeping track, but I think this works out. Setting this goal was a companion to #51. Things are just different from the way they were when I set these goals. I'm feeling more connected again.

55-Finish the photo wall

56-Take (or procure) a flattering picture of each of my friends for the wall. I've been taking a lot of pictures.

57-Attend a pow-wow

58-Make a dress

59-Clean out my closet (clothes AND shoes)

60-Buy new underthings and get rid of the old

61-Clean out the garage

62-Attend a pagan festival (Beltaine and/or some other)

63-Update my birthday list. Do I even HAVE a birthday list? I mean really, all in one place? I don't think so. Maybe I need to CREATE a birthday list.

64-Take pictures at events, gatherings, etc. Boo to me and my vague goals! I don't know how to quantify this one. I have been doing a lot of photographing since I got my new camera, though.

65-Go to the beach once a month in the sunny months: June - check!

66-Visit Leavenworth: DONE - completed May 08

67-Paint my bedroom

68-Pull up the carpet in my bedroom

69-Paint the deck

70-Paint the front porch

71-Go on a road trip during the summer. Done (June 08) and I want to take more!!!

72-Use my Entertainment book regularly, keep track of the savings & put them in a fun money jar

73-Buy and TAKE a daily vitamin Purchased in Feb and have been taking it sporradically (though I have gotten better since I started taking Alli)

74-Learn to knit

75-Go camping. Done! As of last week I have spent time in both a state park yurt and a cabin at a KOA campground!

76-Get and update a new address book

77-Learn enough about photography to make my good pictures more than happy accidents: Checked out a book on digital photography from the library

78-Go to a reading or lecture at least once a month

79-Participate in NaNoWriMo for real and following their rules

80-Join Amnesty International

81-Join The Humane Society (or some other animal organization)

82-Learn to make an origami crane

83-Run the whole way around the track

84-Go on December pilgrimage with Jenny R. and her family

85-Write something (journal, blog, whatever) every day In progress - If I've not written EVERY day, I've definitely done so ALMOST that often.

86-Buy a new ring as a reminder: Done. Bought butterfly ring in Jan 08

87-Get a manicure

88-Treat myself to a spa day

89-Create an enticing reward system for every 10 pounds

90-Get tickets for my mom to be able to see Cirque du Soleil: DONE - saw Corteo with my mom on March 11

91-Read the Bible, Koran, Baghavad Gita

92-Buy a pair of comfortable athletic shoes

93-Visit a Buddhist temple

94-Learn yoga/take an exercise class

95-Plant a vegetable/herb garden

96-Make preserves

97-Research and make a list of fun summer festival outings- In progress - I am still using the lovely Gustav Klimt datebook my friend Lorin got me for Christmas to record them.

98-Make stepping stones for the garden. I have this scheme wherein I invite my friends over for a crafty stone making extravaganza and then use their completed stones to pave the garden path. That way, whenever I am strolling along I will look down and think of them!

99-Go berry picking on Sauvie Island

100-Buy fresh cherries from the fruit loop when they are in season: I need to look into this. I think it's getting close.

101-Plan something fabulous for my birthday this year. Done. Invited a bunch of girlfriends over for a vegetarian feast with not one, but two cakes. How did I get two cakes? Well, you see I went to this bake sale to benefit the women detained in last summer's Del Monte raids. One of the women there was a baker, and we bought one of her cakes. As we were talking to another friend, I thought "Why not order a cake from her for my birthday instead of giving money to Lamb's bakery?" So, I immediately went back and asked her if she would do it. She was happy to.The thing is that when I got home with the original non-birthday cake, I found that the frosting tasted oddly lardy. I didn't want lard cake for my party. Who does? Getting old is bad enough, getting old with only a lard cake for succor does not help ANYTHING! So, I called Lamb's and ordered a mocha cake filled with raspberry and decorated with lovely spring flowers. But, of course, I would have felt too guilty cancelling my original order, so I didn't. It's not like you can call a sweet Mexican lady who is worried about deportation and whether she'll be able to afford plane tickets to take her American citizen children with her and tell her that her cake is lardy and strange, so I decided to just suck it up. The whole point from the beginning was to help her out in a way that wouldn't make her feel like it was charity. The cake was just a side benefit, but not really the point, anyway. So, that's how I ended up with a cake from her AND my Lamb's cake. But that's not where the story ends. The story ends beautifully (and with the birthday miracle of a surplus of cake, which is again beautiful!), because her birthday cake was not lardy at all but light and airy with strawberries and creamy, delicious frosting. Apparently all that stuff about karma is true!

I'll try to update a little earlier next time!

The Natural Ocurrance of Things

I just updated my master list of goals (the first post) and was able to update two more. 

First, I haven't really passed around this blog to everyone I know. I find it perhaps a bit too personal to mention to people at work. I'd love to invite other friends to do it as well, but I haven't asked anyone other than Martina. I'm glad she is in on this with me and I hope she is finding it motivational, too (is it?). Lately, I have begun to tell people about the project even if I don't point them to this website. I shared the bra fitting story with my mahjong buddies at work and let them know it was part of a bigger 100 things to do scheme. They have since asked me about my 100 things and how it's going. Once a month, I go for a massage. I told the woman I see for that about my 100 things to do and let her know what number one was (knitting an afghan for afghans for Afghans). She let me know that she has stopped knitting and she could donate her leftover wool to me. That was really wonderful. As I left she said she had been thinking that coming up with 100 things would be hard. Truth is, at first, I thought so, too, but I'm already looking forward to coming up with another 100 after I complete these. Some might be the same- many will definitely be different.

Today is Father's Day and every year since my dad died about four years ago, I have a Sam Adams beer for him. I woke to a miserable, rainy day and decided I'd stay in and just kind of shuffle around the house, so it was a good thing that I bought the beer yesterday so I didn't have to leave the house. In the process of shuffling, I decided to update my website, which I haven't done in a while. Knowing that just about everyone looks other people up on the internet, I've decided to pare my current website down and break the content into two to make each more unified. Now, in the process of this updating, I have found that the color scheme has been set. I've had some ugly colors up there for a while. I'm choosing two and sticking to them for now. In addition, I'm updating the book club list pages which was another goal. They aren't perfect, but they are better (well, one so far- I still have to update the other one). 

The other goal I completed was finding a way to share my pictures. I had mentioned perhaps a calendar, but via Flickr, there is a printer that does mini-cards (smaller than a business card) with your pictures on them. I ordered my first set of 100 and eagerly await their arrival. There is a group on Flickr that talks about their use of these cards and I am a little bit inspired by it, so I am already planning on getting a second 100 cards. It is really nice when the internet allows me to fulfill idiosyncratic goals.

In the end, this post isn't very exciting, except for the fact that I continue to progress through the goals. My massage therapist did the math and asked if I had 10 days to achieve each goal. I hadn't thought of it that way, but it did make me think I had better get cracking on some of the ones that will take more time or else I really won't have the time for them. 1000 days sounds so long, but like 250 GB of space on an external hard drive, it gets used up faster than you think.

The episode in which I see a portent (or how I achieved goal 29)

I made a decision a little while ago, just a couple weeks ago, that I had to take myself out of my work emotionally a bit. I was getting upset, expending loads of energy, and feeling negative a lot. This has probably been a slow build for a year, but lately, it had taken me over too much. So, I decided if I can't change it, there is no need to fight it for the time being. This has had a profound effect on my energy level outside of work. 

The first effect was the ability to go to the beach and relax for a couple hours. Number 1- I usually don't like the beach because I am the burning type. Number 2- I also generally think of myself as too restless to just sit around, which is what most people do at the beach. Well, I am happy to say that my mind was quiet enough for me to just sit and read and get a sunburn on the right side of my right calf and across my cheeks and nose. I had my moments, sure, thinking about whether or not we'd get a ticket or whether or not I really left my glasses in the car since they weren't in my bag. In the end, I realized, if I can't do anything about it now, why not just relax. How freeing and wonderful! Saving effort for things you can change is so smart and I've come too late to it. I should have been doing this all along.

And so we come to where I am expending energy. I have wanted to go to taekwondo class more often since I pulled energy out of work. This is a good thing. I went this evening and it was a really tough aerobic workout where we had to run around people like an obstacle course and kick the pads they held. One person dropped out because they couldn't breathe. A few people looked totally beat afterwards. I was really tired but happy I kept in it the whole time. I also think my sunburned face probably made me look like I was much closer to passing out then I was. And now, unlike before, I totally want to go again. In spite of being run ragged through this, I am really excited to try sparring (which will help me achieve the green stripe belt goal I have). It is amazing.

To get to class, I park a few blocks away where parking is more certain and walk. I was walking when I noticed a lot of feathers on the ground. I thought a cat had caught a bird and looked around to see the carcass or the cat. Then I noticed that the feathers were falling from above. Now, I wasn't the only person walking through this, but I was the only one stopping to see what was going on. I looked up and on a fire escape was a hawk that had caught a pigeon. It was amazing to be so close (the fire escape was on the second floor) and see the hawk and see it defeathering its catch. I was shocked when a woman stopped and asked me what I was looking for. I pointed out the hawk to her and she stood with me for a while. It is amazing to see, I told her, although unlucky for the pigeon. We both hung out for a little bit. She commented on how big the hawk was. The hawk continued pulling feathers off of the bird and we both eventually walked away. I left feeling like I had just stepped into a Homerian story- and I had been sent a portent of how my life would go from here. Of course, Ulysses got his portent and misinterpreted it, so I'm trying not to think too hard, but I think it was an amazing site nonetheless.

So after class and a visit to the new Whole Foods, I headed home with all intentions of doing a lot of things, including finding my jury summons to know where I need to be tomorrow. What I decided to do was play Guitar Hero. I have definitely gotten better, but I am not done yet. I've been trying to get 5 stars on all the medium level songs and I am about ready to pay someone to get 5 stars on the Slayer song for me. I never heard this song before I got the game and it is truly one of my least favorites. Unfortunately, it is now the one I need to play most because I can't get the last 5 star I need to complete that level. Anyway- I am also working my way through hard, which is hard, but I am improving. Finally, my goal- to complete a song on expert. My expectations for myself both in Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution is to clear the bottom three levels with top scores and then just get through the expert. That won't stop me from playing, but I'll at least feel accomplishment if I can do that. Hence, the goal to complete a song on expert. Lucky for me, Tim played some songs on expert and unlocked The Killers song "When You Were Young." I enjoy this song much much more than "Raining Blood," the Slayer song I am unhappy with. And so, tonight, I decided to give it a try on Expert since I had gotten through it on hard. After stalling around 20% a couple times, I finally got through it. I literally jumped up and down with joy that I completed another goal. I haven't completed the game yet, so there is more to play, but completing the goal reaffirmed that I am making the right choice on re-directing energy outside of pointless work struggles and bringing it to things that make me happy. Maybe like that hawk eating a pigeon- ok, maybe not. I'll figure the portent out someday, but until then, another goal down!

What I learned from my bra fitting (or how I completed goal 36)

I had heard from two different co-workers about a store called Lady Grace where they do bra fittings. I've had a hard time finding bras that fit that I like, so I decided to go to this place and even made it priority enough to put on my to do list. I currently have a little bit of feeling better about myself to do, so I decided to start from the basics and go buy some bras.

I walked into the store and said I was interested in a fitting. A nice and professional woman took me into the dressing room to begin. Truth be told, I was nervous about being half-naked in front of some random lady who would measure me, but it turned out that this was a clothed operation. In order to do the measuring, she asked me to hoist myself up. She didn't use the word hoist, but that is what I did. I held onto my bra straps and hoisted while some measuring went on. She asked me if I put my bras into the dryer. Yes, I answered. She then told me that after the first time you put them in the dryer, you just have expensive slingshots with no lift. I presume that was why I was hoisting. That was lesson one. 

I am about to share the most amazing thing about this trip. I was basically buying the right size, part of the time. It turns out I am borderline on the cup size. Fascinating, I thought. No wonder I always feel like I can't find a good fit (and I'm sure the loss of support from the dryer made the rest of it). At one point, I thought perhaps I was not quite (I'll admit it!) a B and so would try on different sizes going smaller if I thought it wasn't right, never feeling quite right. Well, it turned out I was bigger than I thought and was borderline B/C. It is amazing to me that I could have read myself so wrong. What I find most interesting as well is that my shoe size is 9 1/2. Many shoemakers seem to stop half sizes at 9, meaning I am left with the choice of 9 or 10. Another sizing dilemma. This seems to be a running issue for me in other things as well.

So, this nice woman brought me a couple bras to try on and checked me out when I was done. It turned out I was a B in one and a C in another. I still couldn't believe it. She had me put my shirt back on and then mentioned that my breasts were now higher than in the bra I came in on. This makes me look slimmer due to looking less slouchy. That did help me feel better! Then, I went on my own and the next most interesting information came out. I found a style I liked, got both B and C and then headed back in. I didn't feel a whole lot of difference between the two, so I asked the lady to look me over. When I told her I wasn't totally sure, she let me know that my left breast was slightly bigger than the right. Don't worry, it is natural, she said. That's fine by me since I don't think it is noticeable, but I have learned I need to fit for the left. What a day of learning.

I then decided to ask about an athletic bra. You see, the athletic bras I have been using are about 18-20 years old in some cases. No joke! Of course, they are not holding up as well as they used to (yes- a pun!) and it is time to get rid of them. A different woman handed me two other bras with actual sizes (not the squish bras with a range of sizes) and it felt totally different. Boy did I learn about foundation garments. Luckily, it is sale time, so I stocked up some and headed on home after getting a full talk on proper care. 

Now, after I write this, I'll go clean out my drawer. This is a great first step to improvement. Over the last week, I lost about 3 pounds, putting me back to a weight I was before, but it was still inspirational. I am sure it is a side-effect of my new consciousness about my health and eating due to the cleanse project ( I say that and everyone thinks laxative, but that hasn't been the effect so far)- and maybe a little due to the fact it is getting warmer out. I realize, too, that I won't lose weight if I feel bad about the way I look and how I dress, so I decided to look a little further into my closet and found clothes that I hadn't been wearing. I remember when I moved about a year ago Tim noticed clothes in my closet he had never seen- part of the effect of feeling like I was fat and frumpy was that I wouldn't wear them, but I actually pulled some out today and felt pretty good about myself. So, although some other things in my life may be a bit chaotic- yes, you career!- I am actually feeling quite positive about my self-improvements. My next step will be buying new underwear after losing another 3 pounds. Since that isn't on my list, I'll keep that story to myself (although the physical therapist did tell me that my right hip is slightly lower than my left- if you didn't know me, you'd think I was a mismatched, uneven freak- but that is only true about me emotionally).

Anne's May Roundup

1) Make an afghan for afghans for Afghans

I haven't started this yet. I figured out the yarn, but haven't found a pattern to try. I may just do something simple and baby blanket sized. Instead, I've been crocheting something else in an attempt to use up some yarn I already have.
2) Consolidate 401k/IRA/503b plans hanging around from previous jobs

The switch in banks is almost complete. I am really happy about that. After that, I begin the retirement work.
3) Research before and one year after consolidation the performance of the funds

See 2.
4) Confirm at least once that all address in my address book are accurate

I've really stalled out on this one. I continue to be torn about certain names- people I haven't talked to in years- about whether or not I update or eliminate.
5) Call everyone who sent me a Christmas card within 6 months of January 1

Thank goodness I have one month left on this one.
6) Sell extra books

I'm beginning to think it is time to sell more than I thought. It is now a matter of just getting the books to the location.
7) Buy a good pair of winter boots

On hold until the season is right to buy boots.
8) Get a car

DONE- and I love it!
9) Watch all my Looney Tunes DVDs

Not only did I not finish this, but I bought another collection. Even more behind than before.
10) Lose at least 20 pounds

Oddly enough, my half-assed attempts at weight loss haven't really worked. I had a whole fantasy of getting it done in record time so when Tim got back from Germany, I'd be back to the old me. Since this whole week I've been thinking about ways to improve myself and my life, I decided to start a little more seriously on this. I'm trying out a detox and cleanse program- not detox as in drugs (no problems with that) but environmental stuff. I'm hoping to kick start the weight loss and attention to health with this.
11) Get green stripe belt

To do this test I need to spar. I just ordered my sparring equipment, which means I miss the June test, but will be in the next one.
12) Be able to do a high-section roundhouse kick

My stretch gets better and my confidence is increasing. Not yet, but I am sure it will happen.
13) Go to taekwondo class three times a week for at least one month

With the car commute, this feels harder to do, but I will do it.
14) Finish at least 5 books I haven't finished yet sitting on my shelves

Well, with two book clubs, I haven't been able to do this yet. I am slowly but surely working on it.
15) Visit Mom for a week

No plans yet.
16) Visit Tim's family

Not sure about this one.
17) Visit Uncle Matty

No plans yet.
18) Visit family graves

No plans yet. I have been going into the cemetery next to work. It is a bit morbid for a lunch break, but I like the idea that maybe someone walks by my dad's grave and thinks for a while, so I do it for others. I suppose it is a stand-in for the visits I'd actually give to my family if I were closer to them.
19) Create a spreadsheet for gift tracking (those I give)

I forgot about that one.
20) Look into loveseat/foldout bed

My mother is concerned about this in case she comes to visit, but I'm enjoying having less. It has motivated me to think about eliminating more things from my apartment if practical.
21) Get component cables for Wii
22) Get amber ring fixed
23) Finish a Wii game

I've been working hard on DDR, but don't think I have the ability to finish it anytime soon. 
24) Finish Pikmin 2
25) Finish a DS game

I want to buy a new DS game that looks cool. I had talked to Tim about how many games I need to finish before I buy it. He said one and I agreed. So, in addition to the one I used to complete this goal (that was pre-discussion), I've been trying to finish Ouendan 2 (a great rhythm game). For some of the harder songs, I need to lie on my stomach to play so then I don't need to hold the DS. Today, as I worked on the final song, my cat came over and began pawing at the wrist strap. Although not conducive to me finishing the game, it was darn cute.
26) Go through living room closet/organize/dispose
27) Try a new recipe every month (ongoing)

I've tried a few, including a fruity lamb stew that I ate this week that was really good. Today I tried a trick I do all the time- replacing raisins with chopped prunes. Yes, I like prunes better and usually it works, but just to let you know- cinnamon prune bread is pretty much just the same as cinnamon raisin.
28) Finish DK Junglebeat
29) Get through a Guitar Hero song on Expert

Still working through hard.
30) Get Wii Fit and use it

Man, do I want to do this! I've called around and everyone is sold out. I should have pre-ordered.
31) Go to eye doctor
32) Get new glasses
33) Get a Dr. Hauschka mask and use it
34) Find and buy jeans that fit well
35) Buy a good black turtleneck
36) Get a bra fitting
37) Make something with a piece of fabric I already own
38) Go through and organize jewelry
39) Sell/Try to sell something I've made
40) Finish at least 4 of the cross-stitch kits that I have
41) Make 1000 cranes

This is the new one I finished. I now need to string them all up (which is what I've seen online).  It is supposed to be good luck and grant a wish, but I'm not sure I believe that. No matter what, it was good to do it.
42) Make and post a product for my website

There will be big changes to the website. Perhaps even starting this weekend.
43) Buy beeswax candles
44) Go to a fair
45) Invite someone to my house every month

I did invite someone in May who didn't come. I think that has to count. 
46) Clean out front room closet
47) Clean out file cabinet
48) Try to print my own photos on printer
49) Organize/Store files sitting under desk
50) Clean out desk drawers
51) Integrate Tim's music into mine
52) Import DVDs into computer
53) Look into new harddrive/backup configuration

This gets very difficult as I now think I may need to get a Windows computer, perhaps a really cheap laptop, to run some software I'd like to get. I need to think this out fully. Nonetheless, it does affect the time, money and setup for the backup as I had imagined it.
54) Get Looney Tunes on my iPod
55) Catch up on podcasts

Now that I commute to work, I have had a lot more time to listen to podcasts. I'm still behind (of course), but I did catch up on Bill Moyers, the Battlestar Galactica podcast, 2 J-pop podcasts and now I am trying to catch up on Harry Shearer and a Naturopathic podcast I listen to. It is pretty great to finally get through these.
56) Set up folders for iPod in iTunes and organize updating/synching

There is only one iPod I don't have setup for this and I might never do it. This is almost complete- depending on whether the last one gets an update.
57) Post to website every month

Miserable failure, but the website will change, so the meaning of this will change, too.
58) Fix guestbook on website

Fixed through elimination. There was no way with what I had to have the guestbook posts show up automatically. Thank goodness, because the things that were coming in were horrible spammy links. Deletion was the best medicine. I should have known, but I was still naive. Once the re-design happens, I'll have to work out a different interactive aspect if possible.
59) Choose color scheme for website
60) Make booklists on website nicer looking
61) Decide on other domain name: parked domain or new site and set it up

About half-way to working this one out. I have a couple of domain names, only one of which I've used to this point. I think it may be time to bust up what I've got and use these things.
62) Get a full first draft of translation
63) Figure out camera settings for indoor group pictures
64) Find something red to wear for rat year

I was told that rat year for rats was going to be a bit chaotic and I didn't find my red. I better find it soon and hope it isn't too late!
65) Figure out what to do with earrings I don't wear
66) Read travel book by Achim von Arnim
67) Go to geek knitting meeting

I fully believe this doesn't exist anymore, but there are other knitting meetings, so I will just pick one and go to that.
68) Evaluate usefulness of Seashore program
69) Create calendar or something to share my pictures
70) Finish scanning old paper photos
71) Join a guild
72) Get a backup made of my digital/digitized photos
73) Start to learn a new language
74) Find a Spanish reader and read it

Wonderful coincidence- there is one going through Project Gutenberg's proofreading now. I've asked to be notified when it is done and available.
75) Learn at least 250 kanji
76) Read one of the Polish books at home
77) Read through/finish Vietnamese textbook
78) Compliment a total stranger
79) Try a new restaurant in downtown Boston
80) Go to NYC
81) See a musical
82) Buy a friend lunch when it isn't their birthday
83) Have a day where I fully live: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all."

This has been surprisingly hard. The negative atmosphere at work had totally skewed my sense of what is normal talk and what is negative and hostile. I have begun working hard to reset my balance by removing myself from the negativity as much as possible, even when invited into it. 
84) Translate my resume into German

A full resume re-write is underway. Then I'll need to work on the German version.
85) Take someone on my favorite downtown walk
86) Write letters to three people letting them know how special they are
87) Set up an ebay account to sell that sanrio item
88) Finish a first draft of a creative writing project

I began this and then realized I was focused on the wrong main character. I will begin again and hope to have it done soon.
89) Pay off Citibank card and cancel it
90) Spend no money for 4 days straight
91) Eat at No 9 Park
92) Eat at Aujord'hui
93) Figure out how I will convert to digital TV
94) Bind a book
95) Make/Attempt to make all the box patterns in that origami book
96) Make the cherry blossom origami that was the reason I got that other origami book
97) Save for/Plan/or Actually take a trip to the Pacific Northwest
98) Meet Wendy's children
99) Try to learn a song on the harmonica
100) Learn 5 chords on the guitar and be able to switch between them all well

A Goal to Finish Today

Today hasn't been the best day for me. Yesterday I reacted in an entirely unproductive and loud way to a situation with my boyfriend and we haven't had a chance to talk since. I am feeling bad about it, so of course today I am having trouble focusing on anything too long. I had a lot of ideas on what to do this weekend: from baking bread to going with him to a microbrewery outside of Boston, but instead I end up at home feeling anxious and trying to figure out what I can possibly do all day long.

Of course that means that I finished watching the Angel DVD from Netflix this morning and then decided to watch the Frontline episode on Everest online. I will admit, the entire time I watched the Everest episode (very good, by the way), all I kept thinking was, "I will never climb that mountain in my life." I'm OK with that. It isn't on my list anyway. When I watch Frontline, I usually work on my crane project. Sometimes when I watch TV I do it too, but it is almost always while watching Frontline. That means that I have had some very thoughtful times while crane folding, which is part of the meditative aspect of repetitious action, but having it fueled by the topics Frontline covers makes it a bit more international. Of course, with the mood I was in today, I found myself stopping the Everest episode periodically (it also was longer than the usual hour, which I didn't realize when I started) to investigate changes I could make in my life. 

I am not a Jung fan necessarily, but I do like the idea of sympatico. Along your life you get reassurances that things are going the way they should- through coincidence or whatever. Spending time thinking today, I realized that somehow my sympatico isn't sympathetic. My workplace has become a miserable tangle of politics and buggy tools. People are leaving and more outsourcing is happening. I find myself more frustrated more easily than I would like and it hasn't gotten any better unless I put on my iPod and just look at my computer. I began thinking about (can you believe it!?) going back to grad school, with dreams of language classes dancing in my head. After a practical talk with Tim, I realized that that was more escapist dreams than a real plan. So here I am, trying to work out a real plan. An honest to goodness plan to change my work life to put me back on the path to sympatico. (And, if I am using sympatico incorrectly- sorry Jung lovers.) It is hard work to think about this seriously and unfortunately, I don't have Tim to bounce stuff off right now, but for once I feel like pursuing an actual goal instead of just thinking about the next step. And working towards this is putting me back on the path to balance.

And so, since I don't already have about a billion things to do, I signed up to be a proofreader for Project Gutenberg and did a couple pages. I downloaded open source translation software and played with it. I began to rethink my website to make it more professional and less idiosyncratic in case people look me up. And now, lastly, after writing this post (since it has been quite a while since I wrote a post), I have decided that I will complete my crane project. I'm not sure how long it will take, but the energy of focusing on balance and repairing that which is out of synch will hopefully infuse me and the cranes with hope that all will be better in the end. I have less than 100 to do. There are a lot of Frontline episodes to catch up on, so I'm sure I'll have enough to get me through this. Please mark this one as tentatively completed.