The episode in which I see a portent (or how I achieved goal 29)

I made a decision a little while ago, just a couple weeks ago, that I had to take myself out of my work emotionally a bit. I was getting upset, expending loads of energy, and feeling negative a lot. This has probably been a slow build for a year, but lately, it had taken me over too much. So, I decided if I can't change it, there is no need to fight it for the time being. This has had a profound effect on my energy level outside of work. 

The first effect was the ability to go to the beach and relax for a couple hours. Number 1- I usually don't like the beach because I am the burning type. Number 2- I also generally think of myself as too restless to just sit around, which is what most people do at the beach. Well, I am happy to say that my mind was quiet enough for me to just sit and read and get a sunburn on the right side of my right calf and across my cheeks and nose. I had my moments, sure, thinking about whether or not we'd get a ticket or whether or not I really left my glasses in the car since they weren't in my bag. In the end, I realized, if I can't do anything about it now, why not just relax. How freeing and wonderful! Saving effort for things you can change is so smart and I've come too late to it. I should have been doing this all along.

And so we come to where I am expending energy. I have wanted to go to taekwondo class more often since I pulled energy out of work. This is a good thing. I went this evening and it was a really tough aerobic workout where we had to run around people like an obstacle course and kick the pads they held. One person dropped out because they couldn't breathe. A few people looked totally beat afterwards. I was really tired but happy I kept in it the whole time. I also think my sunburned face probably made me look like I was much closer to passing out then I was. And now, unlike before, I totally want to go again. In spite of being run ragged through this, I am really excited to try sparring (which will help me achieve the green stripe belt goal I have). It is amazing.

To get to class, I park a few blocks away where parking is more certain and walk. I was walking when I noticed a lot of feathers on the ground. I thought a cat had caught a bird and looked around to see the carcass or the cat. Then I noticed that the feathers were falling from above. Now, I wasn't the only person walking through this, but I was the only one stopping to see what was going on. I looked up and on a fire escape was a hawk that had caught a pigeon. It was amazing to be so close (the fire escape was on the second floor) and see the hawk and see it defeathering its catch. I was shocked when a woman stopped and asked me what I was looking for. I pointed out the hawk to her and she stood with me for a while. It is amazing to see, I told her, although unlucky for the pigeon. We both hung out for a little bit. She commented on how big the hawk was. The hawk continued pulling feathers off of the bird and we both eventually walked away. I left feeling like I had just stepped into a Homerian story- and I had been sent a portent of how my life would go from here. Of course, Ulysses got his portent and misinterpreted it, so I'm trying not to think too hard, but I think it was an amazing site nonetheless.

So after class and a visit to the new Whole Foods, I headed home with all intentions of doing a lot of things, including finding my jury summons to know where I need to be tomorrow. What I decided to do was play Guitar Hero. I have definitely gotten better, but I am not done yet. I've been trying to get 5 stars on all the medium level songs and I am about ready to pay someone to get 5 stars on the Slayer song for me. I never heard this song before I got the game and it is truly one of my least favorites. Unfortunately, it is now the one I need to play most because I can't get the last 5 star I need to complete that level. Anyway- I am also working my way through hard, which is hard, but I am improving. Finally, my goal- to complete a song on expert. My expectations for myself both in Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution is to clear the bottom three levels with top scores and then just get through the expert. That won't stop me from playing, but I'll at least feel accomplishment if I can do that. Hence, the goal to complete a song on expert. Lucky for me, Tim played some songs on expert and unlocked The Killers song "When You Were Young." I enjoy this song much much more than "Raining Blood," the Slayer song I am unhappy with. And so, tonight, I decided to give it a try on Expert since I had gotten through it on hard. After stalling around 20% a couple times, I finally got through it. I literally jumped up and down with joy that I completed another goal. I haven't completed the game yet, so there is more to play, but completing the goal reaffirmed that I am making the right choice on re-directing energy outside of pointless work struggles and bringing it to things that make me happy. Maybe like that hawk eating a pigeon- ok, maybe not. I'll figure the portent out someday, but until then, another goal down!