November Round-up (Martina)

Time has a way of going too quickly. The round up I started in September has turned into November. Early fall saw the beginning of a really hopeful period that has now degenerated into a "just hang on until the new year" period. I spent quite a few weeks being sick from mid-October to about mid-November. Now I'm feeling better, but overworked and my foot hurts (from a fall back in August that apparently hasn't yet healed properly). This holiday weekend has seen me feeling pensive, wondering how my life became my life and whether it is even the life I want. The winds of change have been stirring since late summer. It is unclear yet what direction that will take, but it made me think that this might be a good time to take stock of what I've been doing. I've actually been thinking a bit about goal setting lately. I think I would like to have some goals that are more focused. When I made my original 100 Things list, a lot of it was just about filling the list, which means that some of the things that made it on are not that important to me. Still, I'm forging ahead until the end of the year, then I may revamp my list. For today, in the interest of space, I am going to leave only those goals that are incomplete.

1-Pay off my car: Still in progress, but soon it will be my only debt.

2-Pay off the rest of my credit card debt: One more payment and I will be credit card debt free for the new year. Hooray!

3-Create a budget: Still too free spirited for a complete budget, but my friend Jeff claims he is a master budgeter who can help me with this. I need to talk to him about sharing his secrets.

4-Lose weight: I have lost 20 pounds since June, but am far from done. All was going really well until I got sick. Budgetmaker Jeff also knows a thing or two about diet and nutrition and helped me start a new eating plan that helped me lose over half of the 20 pounds within just a few weeks, but then the whole exercise/diet regimen fell apart. I'm determined to get back to it in December, but feeling a little bummed about the foot pain that comes and goes. I think I need to find an alternate non-weight bearing exercise (maybe swimming?) for those days when walking or aerobics doesn't feel so good.

5-Join a gym & set up an exercise program: Joined the new LA Fitness down the street about back at the end of August. After a truly horrific experience with a personal trainer that had me wondering if I shouldn't just cancel my membership I have decided to give it a month of regular attendance before making a final decision. Thanks to a particularly nasty respiratory infection, that didn't go so well, but now that I'm better, I am ready to give it a whirl. Just know that you are on super probation, LA Fitness. I didn't appreciate being whacked in the face with a medicine ball by your "professional" trainer, but I could relegate that to the unfortunate accident category despite weak assurances that it would "probably be ok" and the week of jaw pain. The "sled dog exercise" that involved being paraded around the gym IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE, while he yelled encouraging things like "mush, mush!", I am a little less forgiving about. Needless to say, I did not buy the $500 training package he tried to sell me at the end. So, in conclusion, I'm watching you LA Fitness and the view thusfar has not been too good. We are only still together because you are so conveniently close to my house. Meanwhile, I have fallen in love with my new pedometer and am about to start cheating on you with long lunch walks and my Yoga Bootie Ballet DVD's. I'm telling you, they may just steal me away from you for good!

7-Exercise at least 3x a week: This fell apart a bit between "The LA Fitness Incident" and spraining my foot in August, but I'm getting back on track. I had built up little bicep muscles under my flab from all the pushups I was doing and my midsection was tightening from all the situps. I just need to get back on track. I don't think it will be so bad.

9-Make a quilt: No progress. Maybe I am just not meant to be a quilter. I like the idea of being creative, but I think perhaps I'm just not "crafty".

11-Write 12 short stories, essays or poems in the next year (I.e. 1/month): I really don't like the way I framed this goal, but I have been doing more writing. I am on a blog hiatus and it has actually resulted in me doing a lot of other writing - a lot of journaling, even some poetry. Maybe when I have some more polished pieces I will post them on my blog, but I'm really not sure. I'm working really hard on organizing my writing and treating it with a little more respect. I've tended to not put myself out there with anything too finished out of fear that it would be crap. My writer friends tell me to not worry about it and just WRITE, but it's a difficult habit to break, because I definitely have feelings of unworthiness and suffer from something akin to authorial penis envy when I compare their writing to mine. Anyway, I think this goal should be more of the "spend X amount of time a day" ilk. On the up side, I am working on a short story. It is slighlty morbid, but I still like the idea.

12-Finish the first draft of my mystery novel: No real progress. I think maybe it's just not the time for this right now. I am feeling like I need to get serious about finding my voice and what it is the I need to write rather than focusing too much on past projects if they are not really moving me right now.

13-Learn another language: My friend, Mexican Jenny, was going to get me a Spanish textbook from the college where she works and then we were going to work our way through it. The theory was that I have done enough language that I can study the grammar on my own if I have a native speaker who will practice with me. I like the idea in theory, but am thinking that in practice we don't really see each other enough for this to be truly effective. I think I would probably be better off just taking a class.

14-Take a class

16-Make something with my own hands once a month (craft project):Jan - ?, Feb - ?, March - ?, April - collage, May: ?, June: ?, July: ?, August - ?, September: ? Again, I think perhaps I'm just not crafty.

17-Join a choir or that music thingy from the "Keep PDX Weird" event: I have not done this, but I have found a friend who wants to join me in playing some violin duets/possibly get together a group to play chamber music.

18-Learn 12 new songs on my violin in the next year (I.e. 1/month): I'm up to about #8, though some of those are definitely still in the learning stages. Still, I don't think this is bad, considering I didn't really start getting serious about this until mid-late summer and the goal was set in January. Most importantly, my tone is starting to sound good. I might not even be embarassed anymore to play in front of someone else.

19-Get my bow rehaired: Still need to do this.

20-Clean out/organize my books: More work on this is on the agenda. It is so difficult for me to get rid of books. Not only do I love them just in general, but when I look at my bookshelf, they hold memories of what was happening in my life during the time I read the books. I have a book purchased upon the recommendation of just about every guy I've ever dated. I have old copies of the Narnia chronicles that remind me of my dad, because I read them as an adult when he was in the hospital after his stroke. I have books that remind me of friends, of different periods in my life. I know the thing is not the memory, but it's still hard to get rid of them. Really, I don't have to if they're not ones I want to discard. Maybe I'll start with the ones that have unpleasant memories (like the copy of Ship of Fools that reminds me of a bitchy Illinois grad student or the copy of Saints and Sinners that reminds me of an unpleasant, Mekki-haired, ex-nun turned professor I once knew). Giving the heave ho to unpleasant memories seems like a good vocation!

21-Make curtains for my bedroom: Have the fabric, have the sewing machine, need the motivation.

22-Go for a walk in a new park/trail at least once a month. Another goal that hasn't quite panned out for me yet, mostly becuase I don't really care that much about it. I care more about getting in the habit. April - went for a walk in Wilsonville where I work. May - Nowhere new. June - Went for a walk at a botanical garden at the beach. July - No parks, just daily walks around the neighborhood where I work. August - Still need to do this. September - Laurelhurst. October - no parks, but did start walking around our new business complex. November - no walks :-(

23-Learn about wine. Learned much to my surprise that I enjoy pinot noir. I've been buying a bottle of a new kind of wine every payday for the past few pay periods, but have yet to actually do much drinking of it. I am hoping to have a special friend over for dinner sometime in the next week, so perhaps we will open one then.

24-Try a new recipe once a month: Jan 08: Thai Pizza; Feb 08: West African Ground Nut Stew; Carribbean Black Beans with Orange Juice and Candied Ginger; March 08: Ziti with Sundried Tomato Cream, Plaintains with Apples and Sweet Potatoes, Tangy Orange Salad Dressing; April 08: Vegetarian Carne Guisada; May08: Chocolate and Cranberry Cookies (from Apples for Jam- I am sad to report that I really did not like them). Penne with Shrimp, Cream and Tomatoes (also from Apples for Jam and DELICIOUS!); June 08: Mushroom Marinara sauce from Posie Gets Cozy website (so good!); July 08: Mole Enchiladas; August 08: Tomorrow I am making an Eggplant Lasagna; September 08: Cajun Salmon with eggplant and pomegranate salad; October 08: Tamale "pie"; Sour Cream Apple Pie (the first and most delicious pie I have ever made - I will definitely make this again!); November 08: Whiskey Glazed Carrots (SO good! I don't even like cooked carrots and I LOVED this AND I can see many applications for the whiskey glaze, which would be awesome on sweet potatoes or winter squash!)

25 - Invite friends over for dinner once a month: Jan 08: Jenny & Jesus; Feb 08: - ; March 08: Paula (kinda - we ended up eating out); Jen, Becky, Nancy, Jenny, Dejadira; Ruth, Jala, DeEtte; April 08: Jenny, DeJadira, Antonio; May 08: I am sure we had someone over, but for the life of me, I cannot remember who it was; June 08: Jenny & kids; July 08: Apala; August 08: Jen & Becky (picnic in the park, but I provided the food, so it counts!); September 08: Jeff; Apala; October 08: don't think I had anyone over - too gimpy/sick for cooking for guests; November 08: Jeff

26-Try a new restaurant once a month: Jan 08: Jim Dandy; Feb 08: Van Hanh; Mexican Restaurant on 122nd...can't remember the name, but it was good; March 08: Mexican Restaurant by work - can't remember the name, but it's by the Thai restaurant (like that tells anyone but me anything!); April 08: - the vegan café next to my mom's chiropractor's office in Milwaukie (I know - again with the great record keeping!) May 08: Sweet Pea Baking Company (vegan and they have the yummiest peanutbutter bars!; June 08: El Tapatio (both the one on 82nd Ave in PDX AND the one in Coquille, OR), The Sea Hag (Depoe Bay, OR); the Doogers in Seaside (I've already eaten at the one in Cannon Beach); July 08: El Pollo Loco in Gresham; August 08: not yet, but I want to try the new Morrocan place by work; September 08: the new Hawaiian restaurant down the road; October 08: not sure...I think I may not have tried anything; November 08: Maggiani's in Troy, MI & a dreadful place (also in Troy) called Tichonderoga that had dead animal heads hanging all over the place - not my choice. They are known for their game. I positioned myself in a spot at the table where I would not have to look anything dead in the eye and ate butternut squash lasagna in protest.

27-Make Stollen: I really want to make this for Christmas (and had a request for it at the Thanskgiving dinner I went to at a friend's house).

28-Once a month, pick someone and buy them a gift/do something to make them happy for no reason at all: Jan 08 no one; Feb 08 - sent flowers to my mom; March 08 - Cadbury eggs for Mary (b/c they're her favorite and she was having a bad day); April 08 - bought my mom a lily, also have something for Jen that I can not yet reveal, because I have yet to send it; May 08 - Bought my mom a sparkly silver tote, because she liked my gold disco bag; June 08 - While on vacation bought Deja and Antonio various souvenirs and also sprung for the $25 deluxe dune buggy ride instead of the $12 craptacular one; July 08 - stuff for Jen (though it was for her birthday); August 08 - Tickets for Phantom of the Opera for my mom; September 08: Gave Apala a Miriam Makeba cd; October 08: gave one of the nicer neighborhood kids almost ALL of our Halloween candy, because it seemed like it was going to be a slow night. I also wrote up daily ghost stories for a friends at work for 13 days before Halloween, simply because she likes them. November 08: Have been a selfish bitch! I can't really think of anything I've given anyone as a present for no reason, though I have taken my mom out for a dinner a few times. Does that count?

29-Moisturize every day: Still a little hit and miss, though having a nice moisturizer is helping and I did do this deep skin treatment the other day that gave my face a really healthy glow.

30-Organize my recipes: No new progress since last month

31-Study a new Tarot card each month: No progress. I think it's just not the time. It's really not a super important goal to me.

35-Play my guitar more than once a year

36-Cut my diet coke consumption down to 1 a day (or better - none a day): There has been a MAJOR backslide here. I need to get back to drinking mineral water again.

37-Sign up for organic grocery delivery or foodshare. This is another of those ones that I may decide against. I have been frequenting my local famers markets more often and am really pretty happy with that.

38-Study a new artist/composer each month: So far not much progress, though I did forget that I read up a bit on Sofonisba Anguissola a bit back in January.

39-Go to a concert/play once a month: Jan 08: The Devil and Daniel Webster; Feb 08: Sweet Honey in the Rock; March 08: Corteo, Ladysmith Black Mambazo; April 08: Nothing yet. May: None; June 08: Nothing yet; July 08: nada; August 08: The Phantom of the Opera; September 08: nothing yet; October: nothing; November: nothing

40-Go to the Shakespeare festival in Ashland.

41-Host a summer barbeque. I think it's too late. It is already late autumn!

42-Plan a trip to Europe

43-Renew my passport

44-Go through and get rid of CD's that need to be released into the wild

45-Go on another retreat: Considering renting a house at the beach for birthday week for purposes of having a writing getaway (crafty is also acceptable for those with no writing inclinations) with some friends.

46-Visit the Oregon Trail museums I haven't yet visited: Visited: End of the Oregon Trail Museum in Oregon City, Tamastslikt in Pendleton, and the Oregon Trail Museum in Baker City.

48-Read something in another language each week: I have started translating a friend's first novel into German. That's not only reading, but also writing!

49-Visit the East Coast

50-Write a handwritten letter to someone once a month

51-Meet a friend for coffee/drinks/whatever once a month. No real changes. Really, the point of making this a goal was that I found myself feeling kind of hermit-like at the beginning of the year and turning down a lot of invitations I should have accepted. This does not seem to be a problem anymore. I think I smell an empty spot for a new goal.

52-Regularly deposit money into savings. I have actually developed a plan for this one that also touches on # 53. I am now an investor in my friend's company via a loan that I gave him against my 401k. I am paying off the 401k via debits from my regular check and depositing his loan payments plus the interest (which is SO much more than I would be making through my 401k investments! into savings. The best part is that by helping him, I am actually investing in something I care about - the arts.

53-Take control of my 401k investments by taking a class/reading a book on investing: SO glad I didn't bumble into making bigger investments with all the Wall Street mess! For now, I am keeping my modest investments and focusing on my involvement with my friend's company.

54-Call or e-mail friends at least once a week. Haven't really been keeping track, but I think this works out. Setting this goal was a companion to #51. Things are just different from the way they were when I set these goals. I'm feeling more connected again, but I do need to be bettre about setting aside some time each day to check in with people, so I don't go months without any contact.

55-Finish the photo wall

56-Take (or procure) a flattering picture of each of my friends for the wall. I've not been taking a lot of pictures of late. This is something I really need to get back into.

57-Attend a pow-wow. I'm not sure how much I care about this goal. I mean, I think it would be interesting, but I'm not sure it's a real "goal". The more I think about it, the more I want to retool my goals in January.

58-Make a dress. Oh my gosh! I have (late as usual) finally caught on to Pushing Up Daisies and am so inspired by some of Chuck's dresses that I really want to make some dresses from Butterick's(?) vintage line. I am thinking this could be a really fun reward for my next weight loss milestone.

59-Clean out my closet (clothes AND shoes)

60-Buy new underthings and get rid of the old: I am now the proud owner of 3 new bras, but I want to get some more. I also purchased myself some new panties. I need to take some time and go through the drawer and trash the old stuff, though.

61-Clean out the garage

62-Attend a pagan festival (Beltaine and/or some other)

63-Update my birthday list. Do I even HAVE a birthday list? I mean really, all in one place? I don't think so. Maybe I need to CREATE a birthday list.

64-Take pictures at events, gatherings, etc.

65-Go to the beach once a month in the sunny months: June - check! July - :-(, August - :-(

67-Paint my bedroom: It is not yet complete, but I am working on it.

68-Pull up the carpet in my bedroom: After the painting's done

69-Paint the deck: The rainy season has begun. I don't see any progress being made on this until spring or after.

70-Paint the front porch See #69

72-Use my Entertainment book regularly, keep track of the savings & put them in a fun money jar

73-Buy and TAKE a daily vitamin

74-Learn to knit

76-Get and update a new address book

77-Learn enough about photography to make my good pictures more than happy accidents: Checked out a book on digital photography from the library

78-Go to a reading or lecture at least once a month

79-Participate in NaNoWriMo for real and following their rules

80-Join Amnesty International I need to send in some money, but I have decided that I am going to participate in their holiday card action at least on my own this year. For the past few years, I have been organizing this at the church I was going to, but I need a break from it.

81-Join The Humane Society (or some other animal organization)

82-Learn to make an origami crane

83-Run the whole way around the track

84-Go on December pilgrimage with Jenny R. and her family

85-Write something (journal, blog, whatever) every day In progress - If I've not written EVERY day, I've definitely done so ALMOST that often.

87-Get a manicure

88-Treat myself to a spa day

89-Create an enticing reward system for every 10 pounds: I think my "system" may simply be that I get to make a frivolous purchase for every 10 lost. The first 10 was a Jason Mraz cd. The second ended up being some new work clothes.

91-Read the Bible, Koran, Baghavad Gita

93-Visit a Buddhist temple

94-Learn yoga/take an exercise class: I have been reticent to go back since the original "training" incident, however, yoga is on the schedule at my new gym. They also have a Latin Impact class that looks intriguing

95-Plant a vegetable/herb garden

96-Make preserves

98-Make stepping stones for the garden. I have this scheme in my head wherein I invite my friends over for a crafty stone making extravaganza and then use their completed stones to pave the garden path. That way, whenever I am strolling along I will look down and think of them!

99-Go berry picking on Sauvie Island

What to do next?

I started on #1 which is to make an afghan. I'm pretty glad I finally got going on it and will work on it some tonight. #2 and #3 are all money related, specifically retirement money related. With the market the way it is, I've kind of held off on doing anything about that. In addition, I've been trying to pay off my credit card. Once that is fully under control (aggravated by the fact that I don't get reimbursed for classes by my company until the class is done), I am pretty sure I'll be in a mind set to finally deal with the retirement stuff. So, I guess the next thing on my list is to update all the addresses in my address book. I had started this earlier and then stalled out. Once I get going, this should be fairly easy, so maybe that is what I need to work on next, if I go in order of first to last. Otherwise, I should be cutting my nails to begin getting those five guitar chords together. Well, the nails are short already, so maybe I can do this, too. I'm feeling that I need to pick up the pace on some of these things. Almost a year has gone by since I decided to do this and the pressure is on, well, it is my own pressure.

As a side note to my new migraine diet work, I'm off coffee and this week is my last week on black/caffeinated tea. I'm feeling a little... tired. Next week will be my last week on chocolate. How sad. I mentioned this to someone who already has a legitimate reason to be off of caffeine and she said she couldn't do it. After that is supposed to be refined sugar. That sounds nearly impossible. I'll figure something out. So, if my posts begin to be a bit nonsensical and disjointed, blame the sugar withdrawal :)

New content and a technical question which needs an urgent answer

So, the question is: 

Dear Abby or Martina as the case may be,

I made a goal to live a day of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." I thought I had it yesterday, but then I decided my emphatic, "Is she still working for us or is she gone?!" sounded a bit too mean spirited, even if I followed up with the "I just hope she's found greener pastures" line. So, today, I did it. This is particularly hard because my office is full of wiseasses and a snarky comment or two is pretty much standard for everyone at least once per day. Ok, maybe I just end up hanging out with the wiseasses, the effect is the same. Nonetheless, I dodged the entire world of wiseassery and then as I was driving to my Italian class, which is always positive (the class, not necessarily the driving), I muttered at someone who honked and then drove erratically behind me, "Oh, so you're just eff'n weird." Yes, I didn't say the whole word and no one was in the car with me. I could have thought it and it would have been the same, but because I have a tendency to talk to myself, I said it out loud. Does this count? I need an outside opinion on this. I don't think I'll have a chance this weekend to be negative free, because I'll spend part of it with my sister and we'll complain about our family a little as always. 

So, the question is: If you say something out loud when no one is around and a different person who doesn't talk to themselves might never have said it out loud, does it count against me in the "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all" challenge? I really need to know.

Now, on to new content. I belong to two different book clubs. I generally keep up with both no problem and usually get at least one other book in there as well per month depending. Unfortunately, my extra book this month was really long and the first book club book is also quite long. The second book club book is shorter, but I got it late since another member took it out of the library before I got there (probably the day before I arrived!).  So, since I'll be doing a long drive this weekend, I decided to go ahead and get the one book I'm only halfway through from audible.com. Since I have been catching up on my podcasts, I found out I could get a free book through the Radio Adventures of Doctor Floyd show. This is great. Of course, I am now nervous that I won't cancel the trial membership and I will have doubled the audio/reading content in my life. Oh well, I've been doing a good job on the podcasts, although I'm still not fully caught up. What I have found is that I love the current, non-fiction, political podcast which is the Bill Moyers show from PBS. My fear (and it is a good one to have) is that I will buy non-fiction books from audible and become addicted to listening to them, thereby setting back my podcast goal but increasing my already great knowledge. I've already caused problems by subscribing to new podcasts (but how else will I get good free-reed instrument music, huh?), but I am really enjoying it. So, I write this entry as I download my first book (yes, non-fiction) and hope I can keep my reading/literature/listening addiction under control. 

Migraines and a new to do list

I got my first migraine headache when I was a teenager just at the end of high school or so. I would get a headache and find that I couldn't really handle loud noise or bright light. Since then, I've gotten them again every so often, but I found within the past couple years, I was getting them a bit more than usual for me and they were a bit worse more often.

I can't move when I have them because the pain in my head is so horrible- that is, until I am about to throw up. I am amazed at the body's ability to know certain things when you logically can't know them, for example, the moment when thinking about vomiting becomes reality and you seem to have just enough time to make it to the bathroom and you can overcome the utter misery of movement to make it there. Of course, the feeling your entire head is splitting open once you get there isn't good, but I'm still amazed at how well the body can communicate these things.

So, I'm thinking of re-writing one of my goals that may or may not happen to become the plan to investigate migraine triggers. I got a book recommended by the nutritionist that lists steps to take to work through migraine triggers and issues. I already know that red wine is an absolute trigger. I still taste it and will drink a light Pinot Noir every once in a while, but anything more than that will have me in utter pain. When in Italy, I thought the red wine in Monterosso was too heavy, but I decided to go ahead with it, since it was a lovely night (the first time I heard the Mediterranean waves!!) and I was sure one night wouldn't be bad. Well, it was bad. I was glad we ended up in the hotel with the huge, fancy bathroom.

So, I'm planning on working through the steps- some of which don't apply, but others of which will be pretty intense (no coffee, tea, sugar for a month? seriously? can a person even live like that?). When I do my next big update- you may see this listed as a goal for something that is not likely or can't happen, maybe the green stripe goal since I haven't been to taekwondo class since the back spasms came back. Good news on that front is that I have begun doing my exercises again and I am seeing some good improvement. On the other hand, I wanted to do a martial art with a weapon and the place I was going to doesn't offer that, so I may go elsewhere. 

Nonetheless- I have been working, even if I haven't been posting.