Today I went back for a full tae kwon do class. I walked in thinking I could step out if I needed to. I think if I knew I was going in for the full hour, I might not have actually gone. There is a new instructor, who helped me toward the end, but the main instructor came over before we started and asked me, "Are you taking a class?" "Yes!" I said. How could I slink out after such enthusiasm? Luckily, it wasn't cardio for the first half of class (that can be pretty brutal), so I stayed in and was partners with a guy who started after me and is now one level higher than me- actually, the level that it is my goal to achieve in this list. For some reason, I felt particularly good. We did some spinning stuff and usually I lose my balance at least once fairly spectacularly, but it didn't happen this time. I know I have a lot to work on with my balance, but I felt like progress was made.
I started taking these classes as a means of exercise. For a long time I went to the gym and lifted weights and rode the bike (and read while riding the bike). I liked keeping track of how much I could lift and pushing myself just a bit more. My shoulders always seemed particularly weak and, now after physical therapy, I understand why. Anyway, years ago, I started having some ankle pain and began cutting down on walking and just about anything that might aggravate it. I used to go to a gym downtown that was small, but seemed to attract more serious people. I was told the Bruins used that gym. I don't really know, but I loved that place. I had a personal trainer at least twice. When I told my boyfriend at the time what exercises I was doing, he was surprised I was doing such serious weightlifting. Being able to pick up heavy things and seeing my muscles change appearance were great motivators to me. But once I began sitting on my butt more due to my ankle, that motivation began to waver and the gyms I had been a member of were not inspiring me in the least.
Eventually, after gaining enough weight, I realized I better deal with my ankle problem. After not getting an answer from medical doctors, I went to an acupuncturist, who cured it. It took a year to be pain free, but as it gradually got better, I was more and more encouraged. Now, I can say that my ankle may act up every once in a while, but doesn't hold me back. Early in my relationship with Tim, I had some pretty severe pain at times, although I never wanted to really admit how bad it was. Tim is a fast walker and I couldn't keep up. I think he was frustrated by this at times and my complaints about my ankle probably didn't sink in with him fully. The day I finally decided I needed to try fixing my ankle again was when he was walking behind me after getting out of the car and he commented on how I was limping. I denied I was limping (of course) while realizing as I said it that I was limping more than my usual. Limping was usual for me!?
Once the acupuncturist had worked her magic and I could no longer blame the ankle for my acceptance of a more sedentary lifestyle, I tried to figure out what to do. The gym didn't cut it for me anymore, so maybe classes would. There is a ridiculous amount of yoga studios around here. I thought I would do that, but there is just something about it that really doesn't appeal. Do I really want to be able to pick my foot off of the ground when contorted into some pose? I met someone who had extremely good posture and who stood a little too close to me while talking who told me all about her dedication to yoga. I determined I would probably never be like this person and that I should find something else.
Tim recommended martial arts. I am not one for confrontation on a regular basis. So, naturally, I went to a pilates class instead. I liked it, but it was expensive. Would I really go regularly? Was it really worth it? I visited a few martial arts studios and decided that steel fan form would kick ass. Well, not literally in my case, although it could. The studio was out of the way and, at first, I wouldn't have been able to make the beginner class, so I went with tae kwon do. As I threatened friends at work regularly that I would soon be able to kick them in the head (literally), I started to realize that if I am learning how to kick, maybe I would want to kick someone in the head. I watched a couple Olympic matches online and thought, maybe I could try fighting with a real person. Suddenly, my motivation was up. Yes, kicking someone (with a lot of padding) might really be fun.
I had a hard time imagining myself as a black belt. I wasn't sure (and still am not sure) that I really have the dedication to get that far. The belt that is my goal now was the belt I had first wanted to get to. It is the end of beginner/beginning of intermediate level. In order to get it, I do have to spar. Sparring at this level is pretty much hopping around and getting in position to kick someone. At the higher levels, there is some more serious contact. If I hadn't stopped for physical therapy, I might be at that belt now, but I stopped and it was smart to do it. I am just getting back in and today at class I started to think harder about how far I would really want to go with this.
Now, my secret goal has to do with flexibility. Tied to the other high-section kick (that would be a kick to the head) goal is an increase in flexibility, balance, and strength to keep myself together through that. With help (i.e. the instructor holding on to my shoulder) I can do it, but I can't do it confidently or consistently alone. So, my secret goal is being able to touch my elbows to the floor during a particular stretch. This would indicate to me that I am getting closer. I know that I have gotten closer and closer over these past months and today I was so close, I was really excited. The instructors are really good. They take time with me and are very encouraging. Somehow, that isn't enough. Hearkening back to my desire to surpass myself, I think I needed an easily measurable goal to know that my body was changing (since I haven't lost enough weight to notice any change). I latched onto this one at some point without realizing how much it meant until tonight when I thought I would actually make it. I've also begun lifting weights there and I'm starting to feel that same spark as before. It is a small free weight room, but I like it because I am usually the only one there. I don't know how long it will take me to achieve the goals I officially set, but I have to say that I am feeling quite encouraged no matter what now.
No comments:
Post a Comment